Pakistani Nadeem: Honorary Pommiebasher

Today’s quarter final against Pakistan is the Aussies’ first genuine World Cup outing since the poms left the country. Of course, @KP24 is still here to provide his punditry, but he’s really a saffer so it hardly counts.

Speaking of Pakistanis and pundits, who remembers Nadeem Abbasi?

He was a professional batsman who made a shallow mark in Pakistan’s middle-to-lower order during their 1989 test series versus India. Making it to the crease twice in three matches and averaging a bit over twenty, the stats show that his was far from the worst international cricketing career, but it wasn’t stellar either. Hey, he took 6 catches, so that’s something.

[As far as debutantes from the 1989 Pakistan V India test series go, you’re more likely to remember this guy]

Still, it’s been proven time and again that one does not need a stellar record on the pitch to find some semblance of success in the media.

James Brayshaw

JB: Some semblance of off-pitch success

So, it’s hardly a surprise that someone with as little international exposure as  Nadeem Abbasi found his niche. I hear you asking, ‘What fine outlet has given this journeyman cricketer a second chance at fame?’ Has he been appointed as a weekly columnist as the Quetta Chronicle? A guest blogger for Karachi Kricket Altyrnative.

Nope.

The media minnow that was desperate to leverage Nadeem Abbasi’s cricket profile: BBC World.

Nadeem Alam posing as Nadeem Abbasi

BBC World: perspectives you can trust

But that’s not why we’re granting the bloke honorary pommiebasher status. Nah, it takes more than that.
What impressed us most was that the bloke who the BBC repeatedly called upon to pass comment on Pakistan’s World Cup progress was not Abbasi at all. He’s was just some geezer. An everyday geezer that BBC paid money to so that they could beam his everyday opinions and sorta-handsome lying gob right around the globe.

In actual fact, the man the BBC was paying as a pundit was a chap from Huddersfield whose first name happened to be Nadeem. That’s close enough, right? His main claim to cricketing fame was probably that time he made a joke on twitter that might have got favourited by @philtufnell. Lucky for him, he had some Asian heritage, he responded to the correct first name, and he possessed a knowledge of players who everyone else forgot 26 years ago.

And so, the dodgy Huddersfield homeboy concocted a way to satisfy his hankering for big broadcaster paychecks.

Abbasi has since had a bash at the BBC for letting the trickster get away with it.

Here’s a robotic report on the whole deal:

[Hmm. Is it weird that the voice-over turns me on a bit?]

So, on a day when Mitchell Starc is ready to crack some Pakistani pegs, we thought we’d give one sort-of Pakistani a nod for his brilliant sporting achievements. Nadeem Whateveryourname, congratulations mate. You’re a Pommiebasher too.