Pakistani Nadeem: Honorary Pommiebasher

Today’s quarter final against Pakistan is the Aussies’ first genuine World Cup outing since the poms left the country. Of course, @KP24 is still here to provide his punditry, but he’s really a saffer so it hardly counts.

Speaking of Pakistanis and pundits, who remembers Nadeem Abbasi?

He was a professional batsman who made a shallow mark in Pakistan’s middle-to-lower order during their 1989 test series versus India. Making it to the crease twice in three matches and averaging a bit over twenty, the stats show that his was far from the worst international cricketing career, but it wasn’t stellar either. Hey, he took 6 catches, so that’s something.

[As far as debutantes from the 1989 Pakistan V India test series go, you’re more likely to remember this guy]

Still, it’s been proven time and again that one does not need a stellar record on the pitch to find some semblance of success in the media.

James Brayshaw

JB: Some semblance of off-pitch success

So, it’s hardly a surprise that someone with as little international exposure as  Nadeem Abbasi found his niche. I hear you asking, ‘What fine outlet has given this journeyman cricketer a second chance at fame?’ Has he been appointed as a weekly columnist as the Quetta Chronicle? A guest blogger for Karachi Kricket Altyrnative.


The media minnow that was desperate to leverage Nadeem Abbasi’s cricket profile: BBC World.

Nadeem Alam posing as Nadeem Abbasi

BBC World: perspectives you can trust

But that’s not why we’re granting the bloke honorary pommiebasher status. Nah, it takes more than that.
What impressed us most was that the bloke who the BBC repeatedly called upon to pass comment on Pakistan’s World Cup progress was not Abbasi at all. He’s was just some geezer. An everyday geezer that BBC paid money to so that they could beam his everyday opinions and sorta-handsome lying gob right around the globe.

In actual fact, the man the BBC was paying as a pundit was a chap from Huddersfield whose first name happened to be Nadeem. That’s close enough, right? His main claim to cricketing fame was probably that time he made a joke on twitter that might have got favourited by @philtufnell. Lucky for him, he had some Asian heritage, he responded to the correct first name, and he possessed a knowledge of players who everyone else forgot 26 years ago.

And so, the dodgy Huddersfield homeboy concocted a way to satisfy his hankering for big broadcaster paychecks.

Abbasi has since had a bash at the BBC for letting the trickster get away with it.

Here’s a robotic report on the whole deal:

[Hmm. Is it weird that the voice-over turns me on a bit?]

So, on a day when Mitchell Starc is ready to crack some Pakistani pegs, we thought we’d give one sort-of Pakistani a nod for his brilliant sporting achievements. Nadeem Whateveryourname, congratulations mate. You’re a Pommiebasher too.

Oh Willy’s Boys

When Irish eyes are smiling
they steal your heart away.
With form like this
they’re right on course
to blow the poms away.


Remember when Chris Woakes said that the Poms victory over the Windies gave them cause for confidence?
To that, we replied that it would only be cause for confidence if England considered themselves one of the minnow teams.

Well, we’ve since been proven right. More importantly, Woakes has been proven wrong. Very wrong, as the Aussies belted the Poms into submission, led by fast and furious Finch and a marvellous Marsh.

Now, following from Woakes’ earlier comments, it seems that the Irishmen have genuine cause for confidence. Considered by some to be a part of the disposable cricketing minnows, the Irish similarly dispensed with the Windies. Thankfully, the Irish wisely held back from claiming that this gives them the self-belief they need to rock the Aussie boat.

We’re backing them guys from Ireland to hand the poms a thrashing in the quarter finals…


Yes: we rotated the background on the graphic that we used for India beating the Poms, because convenient.

Woakes weckons he’s got weason to waise England’s weak confidence…

Woah! Pommie Woakes reckons that a victory over the 8th most fancied ODI team (West Indies) is a good reason to be feeling confidentFair suck of the sauce bottle, CW.

Sure, the Windies once were giants, but now they sit just above:

  • Bangladesh
  • Ireland
  • Zimbabwe
  • Afghanistan
  • Scotland
  • United Arab Emirates.

SO, Senor Woakes, if you’re comfy having England considered as a similarly powerful cricketing nation to that fine lot, then you can be darn proud of your victory over the West Indies. If not, pffffft.

Let’s see how you feel in 4 DAYS when AUSvENG in the ICC WORLD CUP 2015…